Monster House
2 of 4 Stars
Rated: PG but Should be PG-13 for Sexual Jokes, Language and Violence
Starring: Steve Buscemi, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jon Heder, Kevin James, Jason Lee
Directed by: Gil Kenan
Produced by: Robert Zemeckis, Steven Spielberg, Jason Clark
Monster House is one of those movies that looks absolutely incredible from the
previews; bringing together real life animation, special effects and humor, all in one
family oriented movie. Unfortunately, nothing could be farther from the truth. The
special effects are great and the animation is captivating, but this is far from a family
movie.
Monster House is the story of a few kids in a small town who discover that there are
some sinister things happening with the house across the street. For years the
house has been occupied by a man who steals children’s toys and screams at
everyone who steps foot on his property. After the homeowner supposedly dies, the
kids decide to investigate further. They discover that the house is alive and is, in
fact, murdering people in the neighborhood. Everyone who steps foot on the
property or even nears the house is mysteriously disappearing. One day, when a
basketball wanders onto the property, they realize how relentless the house is in its
desire to kill them. They try hard to tell everyone they can but no one listens.
This movie is WAY too scary for kids. Even though in many older Disney movies the
people who disappear show up at the end of the movie, that doesn’t happen here.
The house literally KILLS them. This is not Scooby Doo; it is a modern day horror
cartoon. Not only does the movie actually deal with death and murder, but the movie
promotes the biggest ANTI-authority agenda that I have ever seen in a cartoon. The
parents are dumb (they actually say the government is bad), the police lack concern
and the babysitter is a rebel. If that wasn’t enough, this movie has cussing, foul
language and dirty jokes; one of which specifically relates to men checking out
women undressing in the window, and another about a mom’s rear end looking hot.
In another scene the babysitter’s boyfriend is seen ramming his tongue down her
throat. No, I am not exaggerating. You actually see the tongue come out of the
mouth into hers. It’s just sick. If that wasn’t enough, there is a VERY adult ending that
I do not believe kids should EVER see. (See the spoiler below.)
This movie is FAR from a kid’s movie and parents should be warned. The animation
is good and the special effects are great, however this movie would have been far
better if it were a live action movie and rated PG-13. The way the movie is now, there
is no way that I would rate this movie PG.
Parental Warning: So many dirty jokes it will just blow your mind, lots of foul
language, and lots of scary violence. If you want a further warning of why you should
not see this movie, see the spoiler below.
IMPORTANT FOR PARENTS: SPOILER
The ending involves the house coming alive and trying to kill the kids. The man who
you thought was dead, the one who occupies the home, actually is not really dead.
He is the HUSBAND of the house. The wife died when some kids were making fun of
her massive weight and she fell in the cement when the house was being built. Her
soul became the house. The husband is really a good guy who was only protecting
the kids from getting killed. HERE IS THE WHAMMIE: The husband has to help blow
up the house, thus killing his wife! CAN WE ALL SAY NOT COOL?! Murdering one’s
wife is NOT good for adults, let alone kids!
2 of 4 Stars
Rated: PG but Should be PG-13 for Sexual Jokes, Language and Violence
Starring: Steve Buscemi, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Jon Heder, Kevin James, Jason Lee
Directed by: Gil Kenan
Produced by: Robert Zemeckis, Steven Spielberg, Jason Clark
Monster House is one of those movies that looks absolutely incredible from the
previews; bringing together real life animation, special effects and humor, all in one
family oriented movie. Unfortunately, nothing could be farther from the truth. The
special effects are great and the animation is captivating, but this is far from a family
movie.
Monster House is the story of a few kids in a small town who discover that there are
some sinister things happening with the house across the street. For years the
house has been occupied by a man who steals children’s toys and screams at
everyone who steps foot on his property. After the homeowner supposedly dies, the
kids decide to investigate further. They discover that the house is alive and is, in
fact, murdering people in the neighborhood. Everyone who steps foot on the
property or even nears the house is mysteriously disappearing. One day, when a
basketball wanders onto the property, they realize how relentless the house is in its
desire to kill them. They try hard to tell everyone they can but no one listens.
This movie is WAY too scary for kids. Even though in many older Disney movies the
people who disappear show up at the end of the movie, that doesn’t happen here.
The house literally KILLS them. This is not Scooby Doo; it is a modern day horror
cartoon. Not only does the movie actually deal with death and murder, but the movie
promotes the biggest ANTI-authority agenda that I have ever seen in a cartoon. The
parents are dumb (they actually say the government is bad), the police lack concern
and the babysitter is a rebel. If that wasn’t enough, this movie has cussing, foul
language and dirty jokes; one of which specifically relates to men checking out
women undressing in the window, and another about a mom’s rear end looking hot.
In another scene the babysitter’s boyfriend is seen ramming his tongue down her
throat. No, I am not exaggerating. You actually see the tongue come out of the
mouth into hers. It’s just sick. If that wasn’t enough, there is a VERY adult ending that
I do not believe kids should EVER see. (See the spoiler below.)
This movie is FAR from a kid’s movie and parents should be warned. The animation
is good and the special effects are great, however this movie would have been far
better if it were a live action movie and rated PG-13. The way the movie is now, there
is no way that I would rate this movie PG.
Parental Warning: So many dirty jokes it will just blow your mind, lots of foul
language, and lots of scary violence. If you want a further warning of why you should
not see this movie, see the spoiler below.
IMPORTANT FOR PARENTS: SPOILER
The ending involves the house coming alive and trying to kill the kids. The man who
you thought was dead, the one who occupies the home, actually is not really dead.
He is the HUSBAND of the house. The wife died when some kids were making fun of
her massive weight and she fell in the cement when the house was being built. Her
soul became the house. The husband is really a good guy who was only protecting
the kids from getting killed. HERE IS THE WHAMMIE: The husband has to help blow
up the house, thus killing his wife! CAN WE ALL SAY NOT COOL?! Murdering one’s
wife is NOT good for adults, let alone kids!
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