Poseidon
Rated PG-13: Fake Looking Violence and Mild Language
1.5 of 4 Stars
Starring: Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell, Jacinda Barrett, Andre Braugher, Richard Dreyfuss
Directed by: Wolfgang Petersen
Produced by: Benjamin Waisbren, Sheila Allen (II), Kevin Burns
Rarely do I agree with my critical constituents, however this time I must make an exception; this
movie just sucks! Poseidon is the story of a huge ship that is sailing the high seas when, one
unlucky evening, a huge wave smacks right into the side of the boat and capsizes it. The boat was
created with flotation devices enabling it to stay afloat even when completely overturned. (Like they
expected the boat of this size to be overturned?) After the initial disaster, Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell
and his family, Richard Dreyfuss and Sidney's hot sister on "Alias," take off on an adventure to save
their own lives. So far so good right? NO!
The movie begins with a fake-looking boat, complete with a fake-looking ocean, fake-looking sunset
and a completely plastic acting cast. Watching the torturous first 20 minutes, you actually begin to
laugh at the lame acting and writing. It was like watching an episode of “Days of Our Lives." When
the wave strike finally takes place and people start dying you want to laugh instead of cry due to the
terrible make-up and really bad acting. What is supposed to be a serious moment is interrupted by
spurts of laughter from the audience. The people who die actually look like something out of a
"grade b" horror movie, minus the blood and with more of a zombiesque appeal. Watch the movie
and you will totally see what I am saying. Not to mention the blood in the movie looks just like red
ink. I kid you not; there is actually RED INK on the faces of the victims.
Once the journey for freedom begins, every where you look, it all looks the same; fake and boring
scenery, entrenched in fire and water. It's almost as if the same scene is played over and over
again.
When the movie is over you are relieved that you can finally go home. The lack of good writing,
character development and directing really leaves you feeling bored and uninvolved. There is
nothing here to pull in the audience and ZERO fear factors whatsoever.
The acting overall was pretty bad with two exceptions: Kurt Russell and Josh Lucas. Kurt Russell is
just a great actor who rarely gives a bad performance. He is fun and engaging to watch and can
turn any scene he is in into an enjoyable sequence. Josh Lucas (“Sweet Home Alabama” and "Glory
Road") was also able to hold his own in a big budget movie of this magnitude or lack there of. The
most miscast person in the movie was Richard Dryfuss, who plays the ultra sensitive token gay
person on the boat. Richard Dreyfuss looked like he was trying way to hard to be gay, rather than
the director choosing a person in the role who was more suited. The acting was not so much the
actors' fault but the director's. The director should have known better than to have them in such
ridiculous circumstances and with bad lines to boot! The director was none other than the great
veteran Wolfgang Peterson who brought us some great movies as Das Boot, Airforce One, Perfect
Storm and In the Line of Fire. He really shocked me with this titanic lack of style and originality. He
knows better than to follow the stereotypical Hollywood movie clichés and knows better than to try
too hard. He completely failed as a director and showed me that even the greats can make a pretty
bad movie.
This movie could have been great but fails miserably. The original "Poseidon Adventure" was
fantastic but this movie should not even be compared. This movie stands lame, all on its own.
Now that I have stated the obvious facts about the movie, I will tell you what I did like. Kurt Russell
again plays the ultra conservative father image, who loves his daughter and saves the day. Again
we see a loving father as a hero. We also see a healthy and loving relationship between Kurt
Russell's daughter and her soon-to-be-husband. This movie has a lot of great moral lessons and
very little foul language. There are no sexual references in the movie that I can recall and the movie
is pretty clean all the way around.
I am going to give the movie 1.5 stars. One for the one and only Kurt Russell who really saved this
movie from being a true total disaster and a half star to the wave that just looked totally cool.
Parental Warning: The violence is not really intense at all and there is very little blood. You see
some bodies lying around and some people falling to their death, however it looks so fake you
almost laugh instead of being afraid. I would say that this movie is fine for children over the age of
10. The dead bodies might scare kids, so then maybe 13.
Rated PG-13: Fake Looking Violence and Mild Language
1.5 of 4 Stars
Starring: Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell, Jacinda Barrett, Andre Braugher, Richard Dreyfuss
Directed by: Wolfgang Petersen
Produced by: Benjamin Waisbren, Sheila Allen (II), Kevin Burns
Rarely do I agree with my critical constituents, however this time I must make an exception; this
movie just sucks! Poseidon is the story of a huge ship that is sailing the high seas when, one
unlucky evening, a huge wave smacks right into the side of the boat and capsizes it. The boat was
created with flotation devices enabling it to stay afloat even when completely overturned. (Like they
expected the boat of this size to be overturned?) After the initial disaster, Josh Lucas, Kurt Russell
and his family, Richard Dreyfuss and Sidney's hot sister on "Alias," take off on an adventure to save
their own lives. So far so good right? NO!
The movie begins with a fake-looking boat, complete with a fake-looking ocean, fake-looking sunset
and a completely plastic acting cast. Watching the torturous first 20 minutes, you actually begin to
laugh at the lame acting and writing. It was like watching an episode of “Days of Our Lives." When
the wave strike finally takes place and people start dying you want to laugh instead of cry due to the
terrible make-up and really bad acting. What is supposed to be a serious moment is interrupted by
spurts of laughter from the audience. The people who die actually look like something out of a
"grade b" horror movie, minus the blood and with more of a zombiesque appeal. Watch the movie
and you will totally see what I am saying. Not to mention the blood in the movie looks just like red
ink. I kid you not; there is actually RED INK on the faces of the victims.
Once the journey for freedom begins, every where you look, it all looks the same; fake and boring
scenery, entrenched in fire and water. It's almost as if the same scene is played over and over
again.
When the movie is over you are relieved that you can finally go home. The lack of good writing,
character development and directing really leaves you feeling bored and uninvolved. There is
nothing here to pull in the audience and ZERO fear factors whatsoever.
The acting overall was pretty bad with two exceptions: Kurt Russell and Josh Lucas. Kurt Russell is
just a great actor who rarely gives a bad performance. He is fun and engaging to watch and can
turn any scene he is in into an enjoyable sequence. Josh Lucas (“Sweet Home Alabama” and "Glory
Road") was also able to hold his own in a big budget movie of this magnitude or lack there of. The
most miscast person in the movie was Richard Dryfuss, who plays the ultra sensitive token gay
person on the boat. Richard Dreyfuss looked like he was trying way to hard to be gay, rather than
the director choosing a person in the role who was more suited. The acting was not so much the
actors' fault but the director's. The director should have known better than to have them in such
ridiculous circumstances and with bad lines to boot! The director was none other than the great
veteran Wolfgang Peterson who brought us some great movies as Das Boot, Airforce One, Perfect
Storm and In the Line of Fire. He really shocked me with this titanic lack of style and originality. He
knows better than to follow the stereotypical Hollywood movie clichés and knows better than to try
too hard. He completely failed as a director and showed me that even the greats can make a pretty
bad movie.
This movie could have been great but fails miserably. The original "Poseidon Adventure" was
fantastic but this movie should not even be compared. This movie stands lame, all on its own.
Now that I have stated the obvious facts about the movie, I will tell you what I did like. Kurt Russell
again plays the ultra conservative father image, who loves his daughter and saves the day. Again
we see a loving father as a hero. We also see a healthy and loving relationship between Kurt
Russell's daughter and her soon-to-be-husband. This movie has a lot of great moral lessons and
very little foul language. There are no sexual references in the movie that I can recall and the movie
is pretty clean all the way around.
I am going to give the movie 1.5 stars. One for the one and only Kurt Russell who really saved this
movie from being a true total disaster and a half star to the wave that just looked totally cool.
Parental Warning: The violence is not really intense at all and there is very little blood. You see
some bodies lying around and some people falling to their death, however it looks so fake you
almost laugh instead of being afraid. I would say that this movie is fine for children over the age of
10. The dead bodies might scare kids, so then maybe 13.
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